It's over

Jan. 11th, 2012 02:18 pm
[personal profile] calculus_of_destructions
MB and I talked and mutually decided we needed to stop dating. She told me she wasn't ready to be dating anyone right now, and that she's realized it recently. I had come to the same conclusion last week, especially when some pieces clicked together in my head and I realized that I'm not sure if she's even capable of really consenting to sex given some of the things she's told me. That may sound weird but...god, how do I explain it? I don't know if I even want to say the things that she's said and done that lead me to realize it, but I explained it to my therapist and she said the same thing before I could even get the words out. My therapist had to reassure me that I hadn't done anything wrong until now though...all I could do was assume MB was being sincere in what she said at the time, even though in a deeply disturbing sense she wasn't.

God, it's such a mess, but I'm actually feeling okay right now. She was honest about how much she wanted me, which is really the main thing I needed. I needed her to stop trying to make things out to be my idea when they weren't. I think I can let this go now and just be the friend she needs.
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