Myself

[calculus_of_destructions]

[This is something I wrote earlier when I was in a bad state. I'm feeling a little better now, but the sentiment is still roughly true.]

I feel ugly. I feel ugly essentially all the time. I find my body hideous. This has always been true. I won't go into details about all the things I hate so much about my shape and features as it'd be obvious at a glance what they are.

What I hate is when people try to tell me that I'm wrong about this. Seriously, don't lie to me. You can't lie to me about something so obvious. It merely shows contempt for my intelligence.

Comments

[flippac]

So I don't like it when it's general platitudes. It's different when someone can tell me what it is that they're seeing, if that makes sense? Mind you, being a bit further along the butch spectrum probably helps some too.

[tim]

Do you see a difference between "you're not ugly" and "I don't see you as being ugly," or do you experience both of those the same way?

One of my friends who's met you has told me totally out of nowhere that they think you're really attractive, btw. Since you weren't there, there was no way they were trying to impress you, insult you, etc.

[calculus_of_destructions]

That's actually a really interesting question...huh.
I guess one gets an eyeroll while the other makes me feel like I need to fight back.

It's probably worth throwing out there that this issue is the source of some of the only fights K and I have had...which is ridiculous and something I probably need to try and fix.

I just get this visceral reaction where I just need to argue because...I don't know.