More body changes

[calculus_of_destructions]

So, yeah, sometime in the past month and a half the 40B bra that seemed really big on me is now almost filled out on my left boob (there's still room on the right because it's a good bit smaller still). I don't want to get that much bigger, and I probably won't. I figure in another few months I'll need to go up a size again, and that's probably where I'll settle. They're still really firm and conical, which is why I think I'll probably be putting a bit more fat into them over the rest of puberty. At least the hair on them has pretty much all flipped to be translucent and thin to the point of non-existence. There's a few strays that are giving me trouble, and I kinda have this weird "landing strip" of dark hair between them that's thinned out but hasn't gone white yet. Oh, and I guess I'm not entirely sure how bra fitting works...for a soft cup bra, have I filled it out when I'm tight against the whole apparatus? I've still got a little room at the top of the cup, but am tight against it from about a half inch above the nipple on down.

My nipples are still waaay too sensitive to anything other than really gentle touches (or licks...*ahem*), which is pretty much my primary reason for wearing a bra; however, when K digs her nails into the body of my breasts it makes my eyes glaze over...


I don't know why I care so much about the growth of my boobs. I guess it's a combination of internalizing kyriarchal bullshit about a woman's value being in her body and the fact that I was jealous of other girls for most of my life. Do I actively think anyone's worth comes from their appearance? No, of course not, but I can't say with a straight face that I've expunged all the misogyny I absorbed in my life. I probably never will, honestly, since I don't think you can ever really get rid of internalized kyriarchy - you can reduce it, you can challenge it, you can accept that you're wrong when called on it, but it won't ever be gone.

Comments

[tim]

I don't think you're betraying feminism by caring what your body looks like. You only get one body, after all :P

[flippac]

There's also the whole thing where they're yours and... well, I may only be a 44A (UK, dunno if there's a difference with UK measurements) but there's something feels extremely right compared to before regardless of whether anyone else notices they're there.